Today was a hard day.
For the past few days my anxiety has been festering up. I can feel tiny shakes in my shoulders and there’s tense pressure in my temple. I’ve almost been anticipating something bad to go wrong.
Also like I feel a cry coming about.
Work has been heavy
Home has been great
The tasks I have to complete have been long
Today I don’t feel like I could find my balance. I’ve been concerned about a few things that I don’t feel are going to go away quickly. So tonight I am going to focus on what I can control.. asking Cree for extra love, asking my friends for extra help, and possibly getting some ice cream because some days you just have to do what feels good.
I am a project manager at work and I often find myself encouraging my team to “be positive,” and today I found myself wondering if that was requesting them to mask their actual feelings.
In a space where things aren’t actually ok, why do we encourage each other to fake like it is?
I’m unsure right now. And when I’m unsure I focus on things that will absolutely soothe my soul for the time being.
I’m going to clean up the kitchen (Cree and I made taco salads, which were amazing)
Take a shower with the lights off and candles on
Possibly walk to the ice cream shop for a scoop
Snuggle
Watch a few more episodes of Desperate Housewives
And call it a night
I’m owning the rest of my day, allowing any uncertainty to roll off because I need to settle my mind.
One of my new strengths is allowing things to roll off my shoulders.
It’s too heavy to carry, and frankly I don’t want to.
All my love
JMoore
24/30