I spend a lot of time in my head. Repeating a memory and dissecting every moment.
This allows me to either re-evaluate a situation and never make the mistake again or to literally beat myself up and cause myself to spiral.
Recently, because of the 30 day challenge to write and my ultimate challenge to self to be more willing to speak up — I’ve found myself being more comfortable sharing my feelings BEFORE the spiral.
And even if I’m not fully prepared to share what’s in my heart, I communicate with Cree or a friend that “I will need you to pay attention to me a little but more this week.”
This is me raising my hand for help without having to rush to express myself. From that sentence my community knows to check in with me gradually.
Speed writing is a great way for me to get my authentic emotions on paper without feeling like I need to curate articulated sentences to someone. And it may be ugly thoughts but it feels better to be able to release.
I’ve even reached a point where I can send Cree my speed writing in an attempt to make sure he’s in the loop of my thoughts as well.
Either tactic has helped me grow as a person and has allowed the people around me to feel closer to me.
It takes a lot of work to discover what works for you and take it a step further by letting people show up for you.
I hope you’re enjoying this holiday.
I’m headed to my sister in laws for some cookout.
Love
JMoore
16/30
