Girlfriends Kind of Girl

After undergrad I didn’t think I would keep finding friends, it’s notoriously known that making friends as an adult is hard. And a part of me was like, “why would I need more friends. That just seems like extra work.”

But I’m a human who craves relationship, connection, laughter, support, sisterhood, and love.

I crave planning happy hours, and seeing how we are dressing, I love sending memes on twitter and reels on instagram, I love a little gossip that expels laughter, I love supporting my girls wins, and reminding them they are fabulous. I love dancing to Beyoncé while we are a little too lifted, and calling to check in to make sure they’re okay. I love long talks over margaritas and tacos about how high our aspirations in life are. I love hugs and greetings and sometimes just sitting in silence.

I’ve always been a girlfriends kind of girl. I see friendship as romance. I know I haven’t done everything right and have even failed as a friend more than once, but who I am now and today is a great girlfriend.

So today, while it’s 5am on a cold flight to Atlanta– I am just reflecting on what the past few years have looked like for me. I parted ways with a friend I still care for today. I hold tight to my two best friends of 10 years+ and I’m spiritually-inseparable (yes, I made this up) with my big sister and bestie all in one. But life looks different for everyone you love and it took me a moment to adjust to changes of friendship in my adulthood. Let’s talk about it..

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When I up and moved to Boston two years ago, boy was a lonely.

And I remember praying and asking God to send people into my life where the love was easy and true, friendships included.

From there I had to take some action, you may ask me where did I meet people?

Work — where I (used to) spend most of my time. I remember when I interned at my first company, you would’ve thought “network” was my middle name. And in the midst of making connections for work, I met some people that I realized “I would hang out with you outside of work.” And so I started doing just that. Being intentional about pursuing friendships is important. From hanging out in the lunch area at work, to catching the bouquet at my wedding– my intentions led me to meet women that will forever have a place in my life.
Industry/Social Events— I remember attending a mixer event in the city and saw a girl and thought to myself, “ I feel like we would get along” and after mustering up the courage to not be awkward AF, I went over and said hey. And before moving from Boston, it felt like her and I were inseparable. I got out of my own way and ended up making a connection that I could’ve missed. Sometimes it’s as simple as giving it a try and see if you click, just like dating.

And then, when I moved back to Philly from the start of COVID, I was nervous I would have to start over. My friendships didn’t look the same as when I was in college. We were in the midst of a pandemic and a lot of life just looked like trying to stay afloat.

But then, earlier this year (2021) for Valentine’s day Cree planned a getaway with two other couples. This is where keeping an open mind comes into play, that weekend I met two women who I laughed loud with, sang terribly during karaoke, shared stories over cocktails in a jacuzzi, and really had a chance to connect. We often joke that cold weekend in the Poconos was actually a “girls trip” because it felt like the guys were barely there. From that time we planned monthly dinners to continue laughing, sharing, and growing together. We are always intentional about connecting and I could’ve never saw it coming.

Let’s fast forward to when Cree and I started hanging out with more of his friends and being more social. We started spending more time with a certain couple and I don’t know what day it was but I remember saying to myself, “I miss her and should hit her up and tell her.” And so, I did just that. Sometimes as women we spend too much time overthinking our feelings and forget that expressing them can lead to something great.

Her and I began talking more and then had a girls night out, since we always used to hang with the men. After many drinks, bar hopping, and two hungry stomachs. We ordered food from a late night spot with the kind of tacos that you can’t just order one of. Chatting and laughing as we waited for our order, she said, “ so we officially friends now right— we’ve hung out without the guys??” I laughed and said “girl we been friends!”

But that meant something to me. There’s a significance in identifying the role you play in some else’s life. There’s a sweetness to connection and to easy love and sisterhood.

And it’s amazing how a friendship can blossom when there’s reciprocated energy.

I know I don’t usually write this long— but it’s been on my heart. I’m forever grateful to God for answering my prayers and for continuing to bring people in my life that turn into family.

I want to encourage you to keep an open mind, continue to make an effort to connect, and to appreciate the sisterhood you have within your friendships.

There is nothing better.

Love