A huge part of any relationship requires a certain level of emotional intelligence.
Not only being able to read the room but to also not make it about you if your partner is having a bad day, week, or month.
I’m an empath and I can truly feel the heaviness of Crees emotions and his stress. I can feel it physically.
And for me, if I’m sad or upset— it’s literally like I’m wearing a sign on my head that says “get away from me.”
When you love someone, you naturally take things personally. And I’m sure you’ve had moments where you get around someone and their negative vibe gets contagious.
So now you’re mad, cause they’re mad and you don’t even know why they’re mad and none of it even makes sense.
I was definitely that person LOL.
“Well I didn’t even do anything to you!!!”
And Cree would be like, you literally didn’t and I’m allowed to be in a bad mood. And it took time for me to register that he was right.
And I was allowed to be in my bad moods but still need something from him.
We started trying to figure out ways to still show up for one another without being overbearing or abandoning. And all in all acknowledging that our various emotions weren’t about the other person (unless it was).
We established small statements:
“Do you need extra love or extra space.”
Even shorter
“XS or XL”
These are good practices for me, because when I’m feeling low or upset— I never have much to talk about but sometimes just need a hug. Or sometimes I need Cree to simply go away.
If we feel a vibe is off in the morning specifically we usually let the person have the time to themselves and then checkin later. Once they have had a moment to go through their morning routine and settle into their day.
By way of patience and time.
If you’re in a new relationship continue to give yourself and your partner time for trial and error. Embrace the messy beginning and be open to always compromising.
Talk it through. Over and over and over.
It’s worth it.
Cree just got home and I need some XL.
All my love
JMoore
