When I was younger I used to think that routining your life was boring.
And if you would’ve told me that your life during marriage becomes routine, I would of said no thanks!!
And that’s because I carried a negative connotation with the idea of doing things on automatic, or repeatedly.
But there is so much beauty in the consistency of a process. In figuring out what works for man and wife, two partners, friends, and lovers. It takes time to hit road bumps, piss each other off, and make mistakes to reach solutions for each part of the life you spend together.
And while going through all the shifts and lessons aren’t so sexy, establishing order allows us to GET to the sexy side of things because our life is not chaotic.
Having a man stick to his word, SEXY. Having a man lead the marriage and make the hard decisions, SEXY. Not having to guess if things will be taken care of, SEXY.
And, I’m grateful for a patient man. Cree offers and gives more than I hear men give (all shade). And while we both will always have things we may need more of from one another, the roles and responsibilities we take on are made together through continuous conversations and compromise.
In our household we’ve come to a conclusion around cooking.
I cook Monday, Tuesday, Thursdays + Cree cooks Wednesdays and Fridays. (We are usually busy or gone or on the weekends).
And this doesn’t mean days don’t come up where one cooks outside of their schedule, but this is just a small example of how working together has created expectation and order!!
Another example, In the beginning of each year Cree assesses our finances.
- Evaluates our joint accounts
- Bills account
- Groceries account
- Fun account
- Savings account
- Creates a spreadsheet of the different percentages that need to go into each
- Walks me through his thought process and discusses different options with me
The upfront preparation sets us up for success the entire year. And even this process took time, four accounts seems like a lot! It was a moment for me to truly digest going from single lady to four breakdowns of where my $$ was going.
But, because we are not running around during the weeks and month trying to get our affairs in order, we are able to enjoy each other, our hobbies, and our friends + family.
Don’t get me wrong everyday we are still learning to create a stronger partnership.
The biggest lesson is simply accepting that you will absolutely be doing things you don’t want to do.
So make sure you choose the right person to do things you don’t want to do things with, because it makes all the difference.
Creating routine also allows you both to keep each other accountable, putting it down in writing or simply being on the same page means reminding/annoying each other to stick to the plan you both put together.
I love Cree as my best friend, confidant, and true life partner.
Wouldn’t want this life, any other way.
All my love.
JMoore
9/30
